Doublethinking

As an Adelaide United supporter, Phill Chadwick talks about the ups and
downs with his beloved club.

Oh, the agony and the ecstasy of being an Adelaide United supporter.

There must be a word for what it feels like to be both satisfied and frustrated at the same time but I can't think of one.

In the strange world of Quantum Physics they call it "Superposition". Something can be in two different states at the same time, unlikely as that may seem. Schrodinger's cat is both dead and alive. I am both satisfied and frustrated at the same time.

Firstly, look at the A-League ladder. Only the most wildly optimistic, or plain loony, would have predicted Adelaide to be sitting clear at the top after 13 rounds! That in itself is a wonderful compliment to the whole club. Pickard, Kosmina, Vidmar, the players and the whole administration must be given great credit for that miracle. Adelaide fans can now dream realistically of Finals football, Asian Champions League and respect from the heavyweights.

As an avid Adelaide United fan, I am very happy with that.

So why do I feel unfulfilled? Why am I still unconvinced? And why do I feel guilty for feeling this way?

I think it must be the lack of home success. Hindmarsh Stadium is where we poor Foxtel-less supporters get our fix. So why, oh why can't they play well at home? They are not the only ones, with just about half of all A-League games resulting in an away win, but they are the worst, winning 6 away and only 2 at home!

We faithful Adelaide fans have endured two 4-2 beatings, two tepid draws, and last week we sat through 90 supremely dominant minutes to see only one goal scored againt the New Zealand easybeats! Without a replay screen at the ground, I feel very sorry for anyone not watching at that moment. Top versus bottom it certainly looked like on the field, but the scoreboard told otherwise.

Maybe the Gate and the Red Army supporter groups should institute a policy of booing Adelaide, and cheering for the opposition. Maybe that would turn it around. Turn the atmosphere into away-like conditions and the lads would respond.

As I walked out of the ground last week, I had to keep saying to myself and to anyone else that would listen "A win is a win, isn't it?" But somehow it didn't feel like a win. John Kosmina was reported to be satisfied with the performance.

Fair enough, we took the three points, but I was vaguely disturbed by the performance. Surely Qu and Rech are match fit by now? Strikers of such unquestioned quality should be able to finish more reliably.

Damien Mori, now with Perth for the rest of the season, should be playing for Adelaide. This may sound like heresy to some, but he is a goldplated, guaranteed, reliable goal scorer. You get the ball to him anywhere around the box and you can be sure goals will come.

Whatever difficulties existed between Adelaide United and Adelaide City (his local club), and whatever personal differences there may be between Mori and Kosmina, they should have been overcome, somehow. His hat-trick at Hindmarsh proved it for me.

Yet I feel guilty for even thinking those thoughts. After all, we are top of the table. That means, in the real, hard world of professional football, that all decisions are vindicated. What right do I have to complain? I have no right, other than that nagging feeling that still leaves me unsatisfied.

If I try to rationalise it, there are some reasons.

For one thing, it seems that Adelaide are always just scraping in. Someone pointed out that Adelaide tend to score most of their goals late in the game and have snatched last minute wins several times. So while we are winning, we are still unconvincing winners.

Every single one of the eight wins this season has been by just one goal. We have a goal difference of +3 after 13 rounds that is unconvincing to say the least.

New Zealand Knights, the very definition of hapless, should have been easy pickings. Their goal difference is -23! We are top of the table, we hammered them all over the park and still could not find the target more than once.

Maybe Kosmina has instilled a dour, defensive mindset. Maybe there is a psychological barrier in our strikers minds. Whatever the reason, it is frustrating.

After all, a one goal win still gets you three points. But Adelaide's lack of goal-scoring prowess must surely have contributed to the disappointing 9,000-odd turn-out on what was a glorious sunny Sunday afternoon, against the bottom side. Such a match should have conjured up visions of 4- and 5-nil scorelines!

What a treat. How better to bring in the crowds. But somehow the uncommitted remain just that.

And then the following week, over 14,000 turned out to watch Adelaide take on Sydney. Again, although the win put five points between Adelaide and Sydney at the top, there were worrying signs. After racing to a 2-0 lead after 15 minutes, there seemed to be hesitation in going for the killer punch. The lead was whittled away and Adelaide were only able to come away, yet again, with a one-goal win.

My heart can't stand the stress!

So the lads are top, nearing the December break, and we fans should be pleased with that. Yet there it still is: that suppressed, deep, dark doubt. I must try to come to terms with it, or it will drive me mad.

In Orwell's Novel "Nineteen-Eighty-Four", society was trained to "doublethink", that is, to hold two completely contradictory beliefs in one's mind simultaneously, and accept both of them. That is what I am learning to do.

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